It’s been like..5 months.
On being content
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:4-7
This quarter aint got nothing on me! Almost over, almost over!
As the end of this quarter is inching closer and closer, I think I can safely say that these have been the most tiring 9 weeks of my life. For the past 7 weeks or so I’ve had at least 1-2 tests per week, and to be honest it was a struggle to juggle (haha, that rhymes) the amount of school work we had to do because of my crazy and spontaneous work schedule. As of now, I tutor 5 different kids who struggle miserably with english on varying levels– and helping them develop better writing/reading/grammar/speaking skills has been both very trying and tiring. Tutoring is tough, man..haha Because my day-to-day schedule didn’t leave me much room to study during the day, I’ve have developed superhuman abilities to run on less than 5 hours of sleep a day, zoom into my zone when I study so that I can study for less hours with more efficiency (praise the Lord..) and have depended heavily on coffee and prayer for sufficient strength to get through every hour of the day.
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(This would be really useful..)
It’s been a grueling 2 months, but I’m happy to say I’m still alive and well.
A good handful of people have been asking me why I decided to carry on so many jobs in the midst of my already-busy school schedule– so I’ve decided to share with whoever reads this blog (all 3 of you) if you don’t already know what’s been going on. If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you know that my family has never done well financially. I know my family is not alone in the financial struggle that this country is going through, and the circumstance we’re enduring through is not something unique to my family alone. The economy sucks, money sucks and circumstances sucks- but that’s life and we’re called to take life as it comes and to rejoice despite sucky circumstances. In the midst of struggles that we all go through, I found that a common struggle we all share is the struggle to be content.
A few weeks ago, I came to a grand realization (It wasn’t really all that grand, but..) I’ve found that the root of discontentment is when we believe that we are not living in the best possible situations that we can have. Think about it, when you’re not content with your job, it’s because you feel like there’s a better job out there that you could potentially enjoy more. If you’re discontent with a relationship, it’s because you imagine there to be a better kind of person out there for you. If you’re discontent with your life (these are the saddest people…), its because you’re not living up to the expectations that you have for yourself. I can relate, because sometimes when I eat my a measly cheese sandwiches for lunch, I don’t feel content afterwards because I know I could’ve eaten a really delicious in-n-out burger, or a wonderful bowl of pho!
However, despite the financial struggle my family is going through, the deteriorating health of the family and friends around me, the grueling hours of energy-draining work and the tired hours of studying and struggling to meet given deadlines– I can be absolutely content because I know who my God is. God, being the Creator and Sustainer of the entire universe and the Author of my life, I know that there is nothing He can’t do and nothing out of the reach of His control. In Romans it says,
And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him
Romans 8:28
In God’s infinite knowledge and wisdom, sovereignty and boundless love for me, He has deemed the hardships in my life to be worthy instruments that He can use to further sharpen me to be more patient, more prayerful, more trusting and more joyful in any and every circumstance that this life may bring. He orchestrates our lives in a way that will bring Him the most glory, and although it may not always fall in align with the plans we have set for ourselves, we can rest assured in that God’s plan is far better that ours anyway. Although financial stability, small work-loads and a life-time of comfort, leisure and rest sound like pleasing and satisfying things, I know that God’s plans for me are infinitely better and that His purposes are ultimately for my absolute good and His maximum glory– and in that, I can rejoice.
All of us are undergoing hard circumstances. If you’re not currently going through something, you eventually will one day or another. We may be hating school, struggling to make ends meet, enduring through deaths, diseases, cancers, relationship problems, loneliness, bankruptcies, etc…and that’s the reality of life. I understand that none of us really live ideal lives and we individually have our own share of struggles to endure through on a daily basis– but I praise God for the unwavering hope we can have in Him despite our circumstances simply because of Who He is. Knowing that, I see the “trials” in my life to be opportunities for me to magnify the glory of My Savior. Circumstances are ever-changing and the comforts, joys and treasures of this world will never bring absolute satisfaction to our souls. But in the life that God has given me, I know that He will give me the strength to be faithful in any circumstance that may roll along my way. So working or not working, busy or free, struggling and swimming, difficult or easy– let’s show the world the glory of Christ as we rejoice and hope in Him.. and in this discontent world, contentment is not a bad place to start : )
Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:11-13
Fighting for joy
This past week has been one of the hardest weeks of my life.
As the weight of different responsibilities and obligations of my life held me by my neck, countlesss times this week I was forced to fight for my joy. If you know me, I’m a pretty happy person. I never really have to fight to be joyful. I try my best to look at all things from the brighter end, and even try to make the most dreadful things seem a little bit appealing. I’ve always been able to manage making the best of the worst things, and got myself to squeeze every drop of excitement for the pettiest chores and responsibilities. However.. I’ve become tired.
Took me forever to admit it … but there it is.
As every day I was called to tutor different people, tend to different work places, go to different classes, read chapters upon chapters on pharmacology and pathophysiology, study for exam after exam– I felt the lack of time to do all these things and the lack of strength in and of myself choke me up until I was huffing-and-puffing in suffocation. It brought me to me to my knees until I was ready and willing to admit that I was tired. So here I am, I admit it. I’m tired..
God calls us to “rejoice always…give thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thess 5:16-18) and I always secretly patted myself on the back for keeping with that commandment. I was thankful for the joy that God gave me. But now, I’m learning what it means to rejoice in all circumstances. Good and bad. Happy and sad. Easy and hard. Chill and busy. In peace and even in utter brokenness. It’s easy to be thankful and happy when life is peachy, you have enough money in your bank account, you can eat good meals, friends like you and you never get stopped at a red light. It’s easy to be thankful when you have happy people around you, good grades, good food, new school supplies, lots of money and everyone is saying good things about you. Even animals can do that. Even flies can do that.. (……maybe). But I’m learning more and more what it means to rejoice even when money is my enemy and health is a stranger. I’m learning what it means to shout for joy even when I’m drained in every way possible and to live with absolute joy even when nothing in my life gives me a reason to.
What in this world could possibly give me reason to rejoice anyway?
“But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake, I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish in order that I may gain Christ“
(Philippians 3:7-8)
Even if all in my life fails, even if I lose all things, even if I lose hold of every good thing this world has to offer, even if I’m broken into a million pieces and lying helplessly in shambles, even if we go bankrupt, even if my house gets bombed, even if my family is gone forever, even if I fail school, even if I’m imprisoned, beaten, tortured, and absolutely stripped of every benefit, leisue and comfort of this world– I want to be able to say with confidence that I still have every reason to rejoice. Why?
because my joy depends solely on the fact that God saved me from myself. Once enemies with Him, but now reconciled because He sent His Son to pay the penalty that I could never pay. I know that this same God has never left me since that day and remains faithful even now– even when all in my life seems to be falling apart. I know that nothing is out of His control and nothing slips out of His All-powerful Hand… so I can rejoice knowing that this God Who loved me enough to save me will work out all things for His glory and my good. My joy depends on this. and this doesnt change, even when circumstances do. So even if the weight of this world presses hard against me, how can I not rejoice? His love for me is the same.
“Though the fig tree should not blossom,
nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the oil fail
and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
and there be no herd in the stalls…yet I will rejoice in the Lord;
I will take joy in the GOD of my salvation”
Habakkuk 3:17-18
Give thanks: the fact that I can always rejoice in You
Half-point and jQuen
My winter quarter as a nursing student:
This week marks the half point of my hardest quarter of the entire 2 years of my nursing program, and I am still alive.. (woot!) It’s definitely been tough thus far. Our first bump of tests have gone by– and there are many more waiting for us to come meet them. I have 1-2 tests every week until week 9, so it’s going to be crazy busy and will demand me to be crazy focused and disciplined with my time– but I’ve never been afraid of a challenge! :) The classes I’m taking now are alot more demanding than any other class I’ve ever taken before.
Pathophysiology (Human health and Disease) is freakin’ nuts dude. I honestly can’t believe how crazy our bodies are… our immune system is our best friend, bacteria our worst enemy. It’s seriously crazy how everything in our body depends on everything else and how every little minute thing makes a huge difference. Did you know if your electrolyte levels are out of balance, the water-solute concentration
n inside of your blood becomes whack and the fluid from your blood plasma comes out of your vessels, and flow to the space in between your tissue, causing you to look like this. (left) This is edema.It’s cool because last quarter we used to have to do all of these random assessments and one of them was we had to like push the patient’s skin and squeeze their lower extremities (legs) to check for “edema”.. and now I know why it happens and why it’s important to check for it. This is what it would look like when we assess for edema (right)
I’ll talk about my other classes some other time. I’m tired…
But these past few weeks we’ve been learning alot of cool stuff in class. and we get to play with things like this!
Today (Monday) was my roommate Jessica’s birthday! If I were to describe her in 3 phrases: Faithful Nursing student, Deep dimples, cutest giggle ever. Living with her has been one of the biggest blessings for me this year, and It made me really glad to see how happy she was on this day. Jessica is one of the sweetest, humble-est, kindest girl I know and I’m blessed to even know her.
She hates attention– but since it’s her birthday, here are just some random things–
We met sometime during the summer before I came to Irvine. Jess had just finished her freshman year, and was planning on transferring to the nursing major. I came to Irvine to hang out with Garnet, and to just look around Irvine for the first time– and Garnet brought along Jess. This is us at yogurtland after our lunch at Tenkos (which is now my favorite place in Irvine..haha) Oh little did we know..
Around the middle of my first quarter in college, I met up with Garnet for dinner (again), and she brought Jess. Now that I think about it, maybe Garnet was trying to set us up or something– she always brought her along haha. Anyway, So we ate at Lee’s. Garnet said “I’m gonna bring along a friend” and she brought Jess! Weird… still strangers here
Look how nice she’s being excusing my outrageousness.. She was always so accepting.
(This was my freshman year before I grew up… to be the same.) haha. :(
I remember seeing Jess with all those heavy books last year (when she was a 3rd year) and thinking, man– that day seems so far away.. but here she is holding the books that I use right now. Time flies.
One cool thing about living with Jess is we have very similar schedules. Alot of nights we’ll stay up studying for long hours, and then wake up in a few hours to study again. We would take turns getting coffee. We usually always get the same thing– but me with Nonfat milk and her with Soy. It’s kind of romantic :) haha
This is my favorite. Sometimes I would come home and I would see her like this. Her light would be on, her book and laptop open but she would be laying with her blue little incompetent blanket wrapped around her like a little dumpling. So cute. John Tang always makes fun of me about this picture because I’m wearing my scrubs. He says I always wear my scrubs. He judges me.. haha
Somehow, Jess and I have become animals in this family. Whenever people draw our apartment, they always draw us as pets. I dont know what that’s supposed to mean… They say she’s a puppy (because she looks like one, seriously..) and they say I’m the kitty..because.. I’m annoying haha I dont know why they would affiilate me with a cat. Esther had a cat once and it was cute for a little bit but most of the times it was so annoying. I remember when I lived with her it would crawl on my face while I was sleeping I wanted to throw it against a wall (just kidding…sorta)
Today made me realize what a long way Jess and I have come. From strangers, to mutual friends, to aquaintences, to semi-friends, to fellow church members, and now to what we are now. Living with her has served me alot more good than I know it has for her. As accepting as she was of my embarrassing antics in the past, she continues to accept my messy desk, unorganized closet, unmade bed and the 30 minutes that my alarm clock goes off every morning before I hear it and wake up.
Today was her birthday but I’m thankful for her everyday,
so what’s in a birthday anyway?
Pish posh!
but if anything, we got snuggies today! so it was a good day.
Happy birthday Jess!
Give thanks— Jessica, the strength I had to wake up at 5am this morning, Starbucks at 5am, productive days, Panera Green iced tea, Starbucks double shot of espresso over a grande cup of ice, Time to read tomorrow, the fact that there’s only 5 more weeks to this quarter, the power of prayer
Matthew 16:25-26
Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.
Jesus, I my cross have taken,
All to leave and follow Thee.
Destitute, despised, forsaken,
Thou from hence my all shall be.
Perish every fond ambition,
All I’ve sought or hoped or known.
Yet how rich is my condition!
God and heaven are still my own.
Let the world despise and leave me,
They have left my Savior, too.
Human hearts and looks deceive me;
O while Thou dost smile upon me,
God of wisdom, love, and might,
Foes may hate and friends disown me,
Show Thy face and all is bright.
Man may trouble and distress me,
’Twill but drive me to Thy breast.
Life with trials hard may press me;
Heaven will bring me sweeter rest.
Oh, ’tis not in grief to harm me
While Thy love is left to me;
Oh, ’twere not in joy to charm me,
Were that joy unmixed with Thee.
Go, then, earthly fame and treasure,
Come disaster,
scorn and pain
In Thy service, pain is pleasure,
With Thy favor, loss is gain
I have called Thee Abba Father,
I have stayed my heart on Thee
Storms may howl, and clouds may gather;
All must work for good to me.
Befriending Wee hours once again.
2:17 am
It’s truly amazing that I’m even awake right now. These past few days have been quite exhausting, but even the fact that I’m awake reading my pathophysiology book and re-copying my lectures slides at this hour of the night bedazzles me. This strength is truly not my own.
People usually feel devastated and pity themselves when they have to stay up late at night to study (which I understand is a completely legitimate reason to be a little sad). Sleep is always nice, and sleeping a full 8 hours is usually a must-have necessity for some people. Strangely (and thankfully), I have this unique ability where I can study for 10+ hours at a time, and stay up til some ridiculous a.m. with just a few cups of tea or coffee. It’s a gift, really– and I am extremely thankful…especially given my schedule for this quarter.
I think there’s something kinda sweet about staying up late at night to study. There’s a strange kind of quietness to the world– so quiet that the only sounds you really hear are the tapping of your pen as it contacts the paper you’re rigorously writing on and the occasional sighs (which I take as evidence that I’m using alot of brain energy so my body needs to restore the O2 supply- woot!) Time seems to move alot slower after midnight, but I take it to be because of the lack of rustle bustle busy chaos the daytime usually brings. It’s nice.
Jake and I spent a few days putting together a history project last week. He honestly doesn’t really know how to speak/read/write englis
h.. most of the time I’m spelling out words for him, explaining text to him, answering the “what it mean?” questions– this project was no walk in the park. He had to think of 20 historical events that took place from 1600-1800 and write a 2-3 sentence summary for each (3×20= 60 sentences…are you kidding me?) but we did it. and He did well. Although it took alot of nudging and “focus, Jake!” and alot of me begging him to think of things to write about on his own– we managed to pull together what I believe to be a pretty dang good extra credit project. We even included pictures. Projects were always my thing in High school… my only thing actually, ha!
Today I studied at Panera with Jamie and Hazel after church, and Hazel was having some major allergy attacks (I never saw anyone with allergy symptoms as bad as her.) It was pretty cool though because I got to explain why Claritin doesn’t cause drowsiness whereas Benadryl makes you pass out in like 10 minutes..haha. We’re also learning how to read medication labels and such in Pharm, so I always have fun just reading and trying to figure out what everything says. It’s pretty tiiiiiiight.
These days I’ve been extremely thankful for my roommates (more than ever). No specific reason actually. I just feel like God really divinely placed us individually into this apartment, despite our differences, despite our opposite personalities, despite our different kinds of foods, or toothbrush preferences, or sleeping schedules– I really believe that it’s the love of Christ that holds us together and helps us to live and love each other like sisters. I’m thankful for them everyday. and that’s not an exaggeration =)
This week has promised to be a crazy one. I don’t have to work as much because my kids at the academy are on break for this week.. but I do have a ton to study for and alot of different things to catch up on. The busier I get, the more I have to remember to be dependent. The more tired I get, the more I’m drawn to pray. The harder and harder it gets, the more I have to remind myself why I’m here and why I’m doing this in the first place. Getting a good education, and the promises of a security in the future are not suitable ends for me to fight and work for. As ‘appealing’ and ‘comforting’ as those securities seem to be, they’re fleeting, temporary, short-lived and ultimately meaningless. The world may try to entertain our hearts with hopes of a good future that may never come, a good job we may never get, peace that may never be found in this lifetime and a joy that this world cant muster up on its own.
If everything in this life is fleeting and if everything we pursue in this world is meaningless, there’s only one thing that I find worth striving, working, and staying up long hours to study for.. that Christ would be honored, magnified and proclaimed with everything in my life.
So as busy as our lives are, let’s pursue this–that people would see the strength of our God manifested in our endurance and diligence in all things; that the hope of the gospel would be demonstrated clearly by our unfailing joy in all circumstances, and that the glory of Christ would shine in all we do and all we are.. even if you’re just caffeinatedly studying for some silly test like I am =)
“But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things? For we are not, like so many, peddlers of God’s word, but as men of sincerity, as commissioned by God, in the sight of God we speak in Christ. “
2 Corinthians 2:14-17
Back to studying,
God is so good.
Give thanks— Pastor Peter’s sermon, a new week to fight for joy, the strength to endure, Panera, God’s sovereignty in all things, YOTB, Pastor Aaron, Bible study, prayer, my roommates, home cooked food in the fridge, clean laundry, a new week, time to study, the privilege of carrying the treasure of this gospel however unworthy I may be
An update on my last 2 weeks.
(Disclaimer: Lengthy)
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10
This is the first time in the past two weeks that I’ve found time to sit down and write here. Alot has happened since the last time I’ve written and I’ve wanted to write on countless occasions but never found the time to do so.. but this 4 day weekend has finally given me the time to come back! So hello, here I am. Oh how I’ve missed you. This quarter has been really crazy for me– trying to juggle school, work and studying and although I haven’t quite found my ground yet, I’m happy to say that I’m still alive, still smiling and still thankful (however sleepy I may be.) These past two weeks have been two very long weeks, but as long as it was I’ve learned so much already (or I like to think at least!)
So here is what’s been going on..
1) I got 3 jobs!
For one job, I work at Advanced Academy as a private tutor, helping Chinese fobs with their homework and essay writing. One of the guys that I tutor is Jake, and I tutor him almost everyday (M-Th). He’s been in America for a few years now but he lacks alot of confidence in his english so most of the time I tutor him, I just define terms for him, force him to speak in complete sentences and explain things in his history and biology book for him. I also help him with his math homework. I dont even remember what I learned in high school.. but I’m learning alot by teaching him. Right now we’re doing this kind of stuff:
He doesnt really understand english that well (I had to define words like ‘opposite’ and ‘agree’ and help him spell words like ‘mad’) so it’s a challenge but it’s nice seeing him get more and more comfortable with me everyday. Biggest challenge was describing to him what ‘retroviruses‘ were for his biology class. Imagine trying to explain this to someone who doesnt really understand english:
I can barely explain this in English..
I also tutor a high school girl, Soojin, who came from korea just a few years ago, and I help her with english, PSAT and reading comprehension. She was really nervous at first, but now we talk like we’re friends, email throughout the week and she hugs me goodbye when I leave after the 2 hours on Saturday morning. I’ve only tutored her 3 times so far, but she’s definitely improving. Definitely rewarding :)
I make her weekly vocab tests and make her write journal entries so she can practice her english
I also tutor this cute little 2nd grader named William who came from Korea just one year ago. He’s really routy and I have to plant him down on his seat every 2 minutes but he’s cute. His mom is really skeptical so she watches me when I tutor him..a little intimidating, but hopefully she’ll warm to me
He hates it when I make him reread things, but he’ll thank me later.. I hope.. :)
2) A few weeks ago, we learned how to put in a foley catheter.
When patients are bed-ridden and they can’t really control their bladders, you have to stick a rubber tube into their bladder (through the pee hole) so that the urine can collect in a bag. It’s an interesting procedure, but we got to practice a little bit so it was cool. It’s probably gonna be alot harder to do on a real person, but the models gave us an opportunity to taste the awkwardness we can look forward to (hahaha)
This is Jenny and Jaymee practicing in class.
3) I got to study in my room today!
I don’t really get to study too much in my room anymore because I always end class at 3 and go to work right after until evening time. By the time I eat dinner and stuff, it’s already Jessica’s bedtime so I ‘ve taken advantage of our dining room table to study those long nights after my apartment is fast asleep. Since today was a holiday, I got to spend a good portion of the day on my desk again, and I missed this sight:
4) I also got to cook a little today.
After 2 weeks of just eating cereal, uncrustables, simple sandwiches and rice w/ eggs, I had enough time to make a chicken-mixedveggie-with-lots-of-mushroom-and-asparagus alfredo pasta! It’s funny because usually I feel super guilty if I cook and eat for more than 20 minutes.. but today I sliced and diced slowly, slow cooked my noodles and saute-d my vegetables. It was nice!
I made enough to last me a few days so I didn’t feel as bad in the end
4) I love the things I’m studying right now.
My two hardest classes happen to be my favorite ones (go figure..) which is fortunate for me because it makes those long 6-hour periods of reading my textbooks not as dreadful as it would be if I didn’t enjoy it. Pathophysiology is the study of Human Health and Disease, and Pharmacology (which is my ultimate favorite class) is where we learn alot about drugs/medications. Our teachers are really inspiring.
(look how many sad faces there are.. haha)
5) I’ve begun studying for my NCLEX
(which is the license test for nurses) It’s cool because we take practice tests that ask really practical questions and the books are really helpful too. It’s not so cool because we had to pay like ~$400 for the book set. But overall, it’s exciting! I took a practice test and I got like 50%… hahaha It’s okay! I’ve only been a nursing student for 1 quarter! 5 more quarters left..
Wonderful things I’ve discovered these past 2 weeks
The efficiency of a chip clip
The convenience of Instant Coffee! (thanks to Tina!)
The deliciousness of Uncrustables
(I swear they were thinking about me when they created this because I hate crust and I dont really like jam- there’s only a little bit of jam inside!:) )
As hard as it is sometimes with the school work being so heavy and work taking up most of my days, I definitely go to bed every night feeling very thankful. I’ve been tremendously blessed in so many ways: being admitted into the nursing program 3 years ago, getting to where I am academically today, pressing on through my first hard quarter in the nursing program, getting the 3 jobs that I have now when I was in desperate need to make money, and for the strength God graciously provides me with day in and day out as I try and get through it.
There were alot of things I needed to do this weekend, and I’m so happy to say I did most of it.
I’m ready to fight hard this week! Less sleep, more praying. Less wasting, more spending. Less impatience, more love. Less of me, more of Him. Less coffee, more water. I’ll try to update more often so my updates wont be so long…..Have a victorious week everyone!
p.s. God is so good.
Give thanks– time to blog, hopes of blogging more frequently, a long weekend to rest and study, a day off from work (woot!), God’s grace in providing me with 3 jobs, God’s grace in providing me with strength, visitors, coffee bean sessions, spending time with Esther, Berean, friends who encourage me, new friends, the joy I can have in Christ no matter what the circumstance.
Be glorified.
“Sharon the Weaky” poem by Sharon Lee
So I’m almost done with my first week of Winter Quarter, and with a rush of hard classes, spontaneous work schedules, endless nights of studyings and no break times– these past few days whizzed by without me knowing it. Tuesday was my 2nd hardest day of the week and after about 6 hours of studying after work, I felt a little bit overwhelmed. I didnt have enough strength to end my day with my daily journal entry- so I decided to just jot my feelings down in a poem. I guess I was inspired since I’ve been reading “Valley of Vision“. Poetry is more of a hobby than a skill for me, so don’t laugh..
Enjoy. Dont laugh at me
Whiny, stupid, silly me- O me of little faith
I cry after the first ten yards when I’m assigned to race
School will always be tiring, there’ll always be things to do
But what matter is this life to me, when I have become new?
Even if I’m incapable- and today I see, I am
I remember the Lord who I’m convinced can do all the things I cant
O Lord, would you remind me of your grace every single day
That I would proclaim it with my heart and all I do and say
Even when I feel defeated, remind me that You’re still strong
and help me to still rejoice in You even when all in life goes wrong
Lord, though I fell in doubt today, tomorrow I’ll start again
I pray you’ll break my unbelief and to my lack of faith, you’ll tend.
Far far away from me– doubt and worry too
for I know that I can do all things when my source of strength is You
(The picture of drugs is not because I’m emo, it’s because I’m taking pharmacology. haha)
2010
Every year, I promise myself that I will be bigger, better and stronger than the year before– but this year I wanted to turn the tables and make a new resolution for myself. This year I want to be smaller, so that He may be fully blown-out and magnified in me. I want to try my best to be better if not the best in everything that I do– whether that be in school, work, serving, being a good friend and daughter, being compassionate, etc…and all for the sake of being absolutely beautiful in His eyes. Lastly, I want to realize just how weak I am apart from the strength that I can only gain from completely depending on Him. (New Years Day 2009)
2009 has definitely been an eventful year. Getting my car, officially quitting my first job, starting my nursing program — just to name a few things from the year. God has definitely proved Himself to be faithful as always and I’m so thankful for the ways He’s grown my heart with a deeper love for Him and readied my hands and feet to better serve Him. I hope that even in this coming year, He will continue to equip me to better serve and live for Him. I’m so excited!
There are so many things to be thankful for even in this past year alone.
Here are a few fun things I discovered and enjoyed in the year of 2009.
As for resolutions, I’ve been inspired by my blog friend Andrew Ong to do a “Less of, More of” entry. and so with the few resolutions I have in mind, I will display them via pictures.
2010. Resolved to..
1) Drink more water: I think sometimes I even go for a whole day without it. It’s really dangerous how little water I drink …
Less of this:
More of this:
2) Be healthier (Not skipping meals and exercising regularly..seriously. gah)
Less of this:
More of this:
3) Spend my money more wisely
Less of this:
More of this:
4) Be efficient and not waste time
Less of this:
More of this:
5) Sleeping more regularly so I’m not such a zombie..
Less of this:
More of this:
6) Love myself less, love God and His people more.
Less of this:
More of this:
These are just a few supplementary things I hope to improve on during 2010. As God has graciously and faithfully helped us persevere through this past year, I really hope and pray that we’ll all continue to strive even harder for this new year ahead. . In growing a deeper understanding of who God is and the glorious things He’s done and the things He continues to do today, I want to strive harder than ever before to use anything and everything in my life to exalt Him with my life. Every year will bring forth different challenges, trials, hardships, struggles, joys, roller-coasters, dry-spells, stumbling blocks, victories, desperate situations, times to rejoice, worries, losses, gains– this year will be no different. As circumstances and things in our life will always change, let’s just hold fast and remember that our God is a Sovereign God who works out all things for His glory and our joy. So here’s to a new year of opportunities to be found faithful to the God who deserves all glory, honor and praise.
Therefore, as you received Christ the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving. .. and whatever you do, in word and deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. Colossians 2:6-7, 3:17
give thanks- for yet another year to testify of Your faithfulness and goodness, and a new year to live fervently and victoriously to honor You
p.s. For anyone looking for a reading plan, I’ve found a few good ones here and this is John Piper’s reading plan for those of you who, like me, get discouraged when you miss a few days (you have 5 “catch-up” days).mid-Winter Break Update
.. so I dont slack off..
I don’t have as much time to read as I thought I would. Still want to finish 3 books though :o) I’m finishing up one book I’ve been reading this past year, and I’m 1/3 through my 2nd book. Haven’t had much time to sleep due to my packed and eventful weekend, but I must catch up on my sleep soon.. Jeni gave me her tutoring job and I have an interview this Thursday at Advanced Academy (excited*) for another tutoring job! We had our first football practice this past Saturday and it was serrrrrriously so fun!…but I’m miserably sore right now..even though I hate to admit it. I prayed in the car today and it was wonderfully refreshing. I love praying in the car. My sisters and I are going to be reading through the book of Romans for the remainder of this winter break, please pray for us. I’m going to go to a coffeeshop to read tomorrow. I’m going to get a White Berry Blossom Tea..I mapped out a route to run (3 different ones actually) so hopefully I do it because my current sore body condition tells me my muscles are not up to par at this point.. I’m excited to stay at home eating home-cooked food, sleep on a heated queen sized bed and spend sweet time with the family. I’ve already had some encouraging conversations with my mom and I really want to use this break to really encourage my family. I love home. Whenever I’m at home, my parents always make me drink han-yak (Herbal Medicine) cuz my dad makes it at work. It’s funny cuz now I can drink it like juice because I grew up drinking it. Here we are drinking it :)
I’m so excited for school. I’m so thankful that we have a break around Christmas time so that we can spend more time and energy really remembering the true reason for this joyful season.
Thank God for Christ.
Our Savior Lives! :)
Give thanks– home. church family. time to read. time to sleep. anticipation for a fruitful winter break
Sharon Cheeky Lee 