On being content

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything,  but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:4-7

This quarter aint got nothing on me! Almost over, almost over!

As the end of this quarter is inching closer and closer, I think I can safely say that these have been the most tiring 9 weeks of my life. For the past 7 weeks or so I’ve had at least 1-2 tests per week, and to be honest it was a struggle to juggle (haha, that rhymes) the amount of school work we had to do because of my crazy and spontaneous work schedule. As of now, I tutor 5 different kids who struggle miserably with english on varying levels– and helping them develop better writing/reading/grammar/speaking skills has been both very trying and tiring. Tutoring is tough, man..haha Because my day-to-day schedule didn’t leave me much room to study during the day, I’ve have developed superhuman abilities to run on less than 5 hours of sleep a day, zoom into my zone when I study so that I can study for less hours with more efficiency (praise the Lord..) and have depended heavily on coffee and prayer for sufficient strength to get through every hour of the day.

(This would be really useful..)

It’s been a grueling 2 months, but I’m happy to say I’m still alive and well.

A good handful of people have been asking me why I decided to carry on so many jobs in the midst of my already-busy school schedule– so I’ve decided to share with whoever reads this blog (all 3 of you) if you don’t already know what’s been going on. If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you know that my family has never done well financially. I know my family is not alone in the financial struggle that this country is going through, and the circumstance we’re enduring through is not something unique to my family alone. The economy sucks, money sucks and circumstances sucks- but that’s life and we’re called to take life as it comes and to rejoice despite sucky circumstances. In the midst of struggles that we all go through, I found that a common struggle we all share is the struggle to be content.

A few weeks ago, I came to a grand realization (It wasn’t really all that grand, but..) I’ve found that the root of discontentment is when we believe that we are not living in the best possible situations that we can have. Think about it, when you’re not content with your job, it’s because you feel like there’s a better job out there that you could potentially enjoy more. If you’re discontent with a relationship, it’s because you imagine there to be a better kind of person out there for you. If you’re discontent with your life (these are the saddest people…), its because you’re not living up to the expectations that you have for yourself. I can relate, because sometimes when I eat my a measly cheese sandwiches for lunch, I don’t feel content afterwards because I know I could’ve eaten a really delicious in-n-out burger, or a wonderful bowl of pho!

However, despite the financial struggle my family is going through, the deteriorating health of the family and friends around me, the grueling hours of energy-draining work and the tired hours of studying  and struggling to meet given deadlines– I can be absolutely content because I know who my God is. God, being the Creator and Sustainer of the entire universe and the Author of my life, I know that there is nothing He can’t do and nothing out of the reach of His control.  In Romans it says,

And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him

Romans 8:28

In God’s infinite knowledge and wisdom, sovereignty and boundless love for me, He has deemed the hardships in my life to be worthy instruments that He can use to further sharpen me to be more patient, more prayerful, more trusting and more joyful in any and every circumstance that this life may bring. He orchestrates our lives in a way that will bring Him the most glory, and although it may not always fall in align with the plans we have set for ourselves, we can rest assured in that God’s plan is far better that ours anyway. Although financial stability, small work-loads and a life-time of comfort, leisure and rest sound like pleasing and satisfying things, I know that God’s plans for me are infinitely better and that His purposes are ultimately for my absolute good and His maximum glory– and in that, I can rejoice.

All of us are undergoing hard circumstances. If you’re not currently going through something, you eventually will one day or another. We may be hating school,  struggling to make ends meet, enduring through deaths, diseases, cancers, relationship problems, loneliness, bankruptcies, etc…and that’s the reality of life.  I understand that none of us really live ideal lives and we individually have our own share of struggles to endure through on a daily basis– but I praise God for the unwavering hope we can have in Him despite our circumstances simply because of Who He is. Knowing that, I see the “trials” in my life to be opportunities for me to magnify the glory of My Savior. Circumstances are ever-changing and the comforts, joys and treasures of this world will never bring absolute satisfaction to our souls. But in the life that God has given me, I know that He will give me the strength to be faithful in any circumstance that may roll along my way. So working or not working, busy or free, struggling and swimming, difficult or easy– let’s show the world the glory of Christ as we rejoice and hope in Him.. and in this discontent world, contentment is not a bad place to start : )

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.  I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:11-13

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